Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Your Husband's Semen *But Were Afraid to Ask

It is increasingly clear to me, just how much Matthew is dreading his SA, which is scheduled for next week. He is bringing it up a lot, and I am trying to say things to make him feel better, but what would really make him feel better would be for me to get a BFP before then. I feel bad that I am likely to have disappointing news for him, if/when AF starts, sometime this week.
I don't want to sound like I have given up hoping we could get lucky and find ourselves pregnant on our 13th month of trying, I am just no longer all but expecting good news, as I was when we first started TTC.
I am a little nervous about the SA. Will we learn that everything is fine, in which case I will start the Clomid on my next cycle and hopefully it will be what is needed to get me pregnant? I am trying to not dwell too much on what ifs, we will deal with the SA results, whatever they are, when they come. And, looking on the bright side, it will be interesting to learn detailed information about Matthew's sperm.

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 A "Complete Semen Analysis", which is what Matthew is scheduled for, checks for three things:
Motility: Are the sperm swimming (ideally fast and straight rather than slow and/or crooked)?
Count: How many sperm are there in the collected ejaculate (ideally this number is average or above)?
Morphology: How are the sperm shaped (ideally, 4% or more of the sperm in the sample will be normal shaped with and oval head with a long tail or appropriate sizes as opposed to the abnormal/defectively sized/shaped sperm)?

I am also, sort of, excited, I get to got to the collection appointment with Matthew. I am not super psyched about the part where I have to awkwardly "help" with the sample collection, in the strange,  medical environment. But I am excited that I get to see the process for myself, in person, It is the kind of thing I used to watch characters go though in movies and assume I would never be experiencing first hand. I did not exactly envy those movie characters, but I did think they were experiencing a little piece of life that i would never see, and now I am going to see it. So, there is that.

On the other hand, maybe, just maybe I will turn out to be pregnant and then we can cancel the appointment. Yes, I think I could live with that.

- Prim