Twins!

I was surprised, by Matthew's reaction, when I told him that taking Clomid elevated our chance of having Twins, he was delighted by the prospect.

At first, I voiced a lot of protest. I reminded Matthew that being pregnant with multiples is dangerous for the mother and the babies are at higher risk for complications and health problems. I even sent him a link to Tereza Vlckova's photographs of creepy twins, thinking it might put him off the idea. He is undeterred.

And the truth is, despite my valid concerns, I would be delighted to be pregnant with twins. After so much longing for just one child, I would welcome two. (Of course, I would ultimately welcome any number of multiples, but I would much prefer to not to have more than two people gestating in me at once. Fortunately higher order multiples are still rare with Clomid ). I am having fun, fantasizing about twins, I know it might not happen and I will be OK if it doesn't, so perhaps that makes it easier to have fun with the idea.

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The Clomid DIaries (Part 1)

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I am super excited to be starting Clomid. I do not take a lot of medicine, normally, I tend to lean towards natural remedies first. But, after a year of TTC and being disappointed, if feels really good to be trying something that might help us finally get our BFP!

Day 1(CD 5): 
My Dr. instructed me to take the Clomid CDs 5-9. She also instructed me, in contradiction of the general consensus I had been going by, to count the first sign of AF as CD1, even if it it is nothing more than a faint pinkish, brownish coloration to my CM. I have converted to my Dr.'s way of counting, but I am still a little skeptical of it.
When I filled my RX, the pharmacy tech suggested, as had my own research, that many women prefer to take Clomid at night, because of the side effects that include drowsiness and blurred vision. As Matthew and I are usually up past midnight, I decided it would be best to take my pill at 12:30am, just a half hour into CD5, rather than wait until after midnight the next day, which would, technically, already be CD6. the other option I considered was taking the pill in the daytime.
I was glad I did not choose to do it that way as the tiredness hit me like a ton of bricks, about a half hour after I took the pill. Matthew and I were (trying to) watch TV together, and I could not keep my eyes open! And the moment my eyes would close I would be slipping into a dream, then Matthew would say something or the TV would be loud and I would jerk awake.
I did not get a good nights sleep, I had crazy dreams and I awoke many times throughout the night, I was too hot or my dream was scary or I felt odd.
In the morning, I was tired at first, but later was quite energetic. My throat felt a little odd, like it could be getting sore.
Day 2(CD6):
The tiredness did not seem quite so extreme as that first night, but I was expecting it.
More nightmares.
I am feeling super tired since I woke up this morning. Also I feel achy, both in my head and my body. My throat still feel odd, but it could also be because it had been rainy since last night.

All in all, the tiredness is not fun, but it is really not a terrible thing. I am not listing my symptoms to complain, but rather to document my experience.

Part 2 Coming Soon!

Everything You Always Wanted to Know About Your Husband's Semen *But Were Afraid to Ask

It is increasingly clear to me, just how much Matthew is dreading his SA, which is scheduled for next week. He is bringing it up a lot, and I am trying to say things to make him feel better, but what would really make him feel better would be for me to get a BFP before then. I feel bad that I am likely to have disappointing news for him, if/when AF starts, sometime this week.
I don't want to sound like I have given up hoping we could get lucky and find ourselves pregnant on our 13th month of trying, I am just no longer all but expecting good news, as I was when we first started TTC.
I am a little nervous about the SA. Will we learn that everything is fine, in which case I will start the Clomid on my next cycle and hopefully it will be what is needed to get me pregnant? I am trying to not dwell too much on what ifs, we will deal with the SA results, whatever they are, when they come. And, looking on the bright side, it will be interesting to learn detailed information about Matthew's sperm.

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 A "Complete Semen Analysis", which is what Matthew is scheduled for, checks for three things:
Motility: Are the sperm swimming (ideally fast and straight rather than slow and/or crooked)?
Count: How many sperm are there in the collected ejaculate (ideally this number is average or above)?
Morphology: How are the sperm shaped (ideally, 4% or more of the sperm in the sample will be normal shaped with and oval head with a long tail or appropriate sizes as opposed to the abnormal/defectively sized/shaped sperm)?

I am also, sort of, excited, I get to got to the collection appointment with Matthew. I am not super psyched about the part where I have to awkwardly "help" with the sample collection, in the strange,  medical environment. But I am excited that I get to see the process for myself, in person, It is the kind of thing I used to watch characters go though in movies and assume I would never be experiencing first hand. I did not exactly envy those movie characters, but I did think they were experiencing a little piece of life that i would never see, and now I am going to see it. So, there is that.

On the other hand, maybe, just maybe I will turn out to be pregnant and then we can cancel the appointment. Yes, I think I could live with that.

- Prim